Whats in a Kiss?

Just this last weekend, I was just strolling by one of the residential streets that leads to the main road of the CBD that I usually walk to clear my head or get some fresh lagoon sourced breeze when I heard the excited laughter of a baby boy of about 6 months or thereabout. The cute young being's laughter was punctuated by little kisses on the lips by a beautiful young woman who also had a bright smile on her face. The lucky baby tended to laugh harder with an obvious (even if unconscious and innocent) twinkle after each kiss. The innocence, beauty, and endearment of that poignant episode prompted my making both a physical and mental note to research the mystery of an act so simple but effectively expressive, then share same with y'all. Enjoy the result of my findings below:

The first literary evidence for kissing dates back 3,500 years to India’s Vedic Sanskrit texts. No word exists for “kiss” but there’s a reference to lovers “setting mouth to mouth” and a man “drinking the moisture of the lips” of a slave woman. From there we can follow historical accounts of social kisses in ancient Greece by Homer and Herodotus to the avid and passionate kissing practices in the Roman empire. Over millennia, the behaviour flourished in some parts of the world and nearly disappeared elsewhere because of religious doctrine and, at times, disease.

Romantic kissing as we recognise it may not have been as common in the past, but it’s certainly only one means of expressing a universal sentiment. And, when you think about it, mouth-to-mouth kissing probably seemed very odd and unpleasant to many ancient peoples, especially before the advent of toothbrushes and mouthwash.


The European-style kiss was spread through globalisation by way of military conquests, the arrival of ships in new lands, and the works of writers including Shakespeare and Dickens. Today it’s a social expectation for many of us because we have inherited a legacy of kissing celebrated through art and literature and amplified over time.

By 2015, kisses continue to look different depending on where you are. In places such as Mexico, France, Spain, the Netherlands, Argentina, Belgium, Switzerland, Lebanon, Haiti and beyond, both genders greet each other with a kiss on the cheek one to three times to express warmth and respect. The number and direction can vary by country, community or individual. Elsewhere, for example in Finland and Britain, a handshake or nod is more common. Many Germans save kisses for those they are closest to, while it’s a private matter in India, Bangladesh and Thailand. The Maori of New Zealand and the Canadian Inuits practise a kind of nuzzle-sniff. And in Japan and China public kissing was formerly taboo, but is now increasingly common among young people. All of these examples are generalisations, of course, but it’s clear that we can see tremendous differences in how people express themselves through kissing customs.

While we vary in language, skin tone and social mores, the kiss has become a kind of universal language. It takes many shapes and forms, but remains the single most humanising practice that we share. It’s known as a favorite universal act of showing love and affection. Almost everyone receives or gives a kiss at some point in their life.



Why do we kiss?
Kissing is wonderful - so wonderful that most of us can recall 90 per cent of the details of our first kiss. Human beings have been preoccupied with kissing for years. It features as the climax of all great Hollywood love stories, and is celebrated by singers and poets alike. In reality, kissing is nothing more than two people putting their faces together and exchanging spit. How on earth did something so gross become so appealing? The act of kissing has developed to become advantageous to humans: if it didn't serve an evolutionary purpose, we simply would not do it.
So what’s in a kiss? More than you might think.

Nature versus nurture
A kiss might seem like a natural thing to do for most of us, but the scientific jury is still out on whether it is a learned or instinctual behaviour. Approximately 90 per cent of cultures kiss, making a strong case for the act being a basic human instinct. I know what you’re thinking...what about the other ten per cent? If kissing was a natural behaviour, surely all cultures would do it? While this small minority doesn’t 'kiss' like the rest of us (due to superstitions and cultural beliefs), they may still engage in kissing-like behaviours, such as rubbing noses together.

If kissing is a natural instinct, why don’t animals kiss?
Many animals actually do engage in kissing-like behaviours to show affection. These behaviours are so diverse, from dogs sniffing and licking potential mates, to elephants putting their trunks in each other’s mouths. However, one animal kisses just like we do: the bonobo ape. This isn't too surprising, considering we share 98.7 per cent of our DNA with this hairy cousin. Bonobos kiss for comfort and to socialise. Sometimes after a fight they even kiss and make up. We humans kiss for the exact same reasons, indicating that kissing might be ingrained deep in our DNA.

How did the kiss evolve?
Many scientists believe that kissing came from the practice of kiss-feeding, where mothers would feed their young mouth-to-mouth. Imagine birds feeding worms to their little chicks. Cute, right? Now imagine someone feeding you your chewed-up breakfast via their mouth. This sounds disgusting to most people, but we humans used to do it all the time! From this passing of food, pressing lips became synonymous with love. Understandable, since the way to most people’s hearts are through their stomachs. Over time, this symbol of affection may have evolved to give us romantic kissing.

So what is the purpose of kissing?
Imagine a kiss being like a job interview for the elusive role of being someone’s significant other. The interviewer is looking for the candidate who best matches the job description. Similarly, when we kiss, we are looking for a mate that best matches our genetic make-up. 'Wait, what do genes have to do with kissing?!' - I hear you scream. Well, we actually have a group of genes called the MHC (major histocompatibility complex) genes that form part of our immune system and give us our natural scent. In a famous experiment, women overwhelmingly preferred the smell of t-shirts worn by men with different MHC genes from their own. This is because when two people with different MHC genes mate, the baby they would produce would have a selection of components from each of their immune systems. A more diverse immune system has a greater ability to fight disease. Therefore, opposites really do attract. This explains why we prefer kissing one person over another. It’s in our genes.

What happens in our brains when we kiss?
The brain goes into overdrive during the all-important kiss. It dedicates a disproportionate amount of space to the sensation of the lips in comparison to much larger body parts. During a kiss, this lip sensitivity causes our brain to create a chemical cocktail that can give us a natural high. This cocktail is made up of three chemicals, all designed to make us feel good and crave more: dopamine, oxytocin, and serotonin. Like any cocktail, this one has an array of side-effects. The combination of these three chemicals work by lighting up the 'pleasure centres' in our brain. The dopamine released during a kiss can stimulate the same area of the brain activated by heroin and cocaine. As a result, we experience feelings of euphoria and addictive behaviour. Oxytocin, otherwise known as the 'love hormone', fosters feelings of affection and attachment. This is the same hormone that is released during childbirth and breastfeeding. Finally, the levels of serotonin present in the brain whilst kissing look a lot like those of someone with Obsessive Compulsive Disorder. No wonder the memory of a good kiss can stay with us for years.

Is there a difference in Platonic and non-Platonic kisses?

Anyone who has ever given their best friend a quick kiss on the cheek will know it feels very different to the rush of sensations experienced when you make out with the smouldering hottie you've been chatting up all night. Non-romantic kissing is very common, but it is much more of a cultural phenomenon than the romantic kiss. Children blow kisses to their parents, some Europeans air-kiss as a greeting, and we kiss friends to say farewell. The closeness inherent in these kisses can create feelings of affection or respect, but not the feelings of euphoria that usually follow a romantic kiss. Platonic kisses are usually brief pecks on the cheek. In contrast, romantic kisses involve intimate, lengthy lip-to-lip contact. Since it is this lip contact that activates the chemical cocktail in the brain, a Platonic kiss just can’t compete.

A List of the Different Types of Kisses And What They Mean

he Forehead Kiss – The forehead kiss usually means that you are just friends. Depending on how it is planted, it can also be used as a means of showing deep affection to a loved one. Most people use use it as a starter kiss when they meet someone new, to express that they like them.
The Eskimo Kiss – It is commonly used by children and parents as an indication of affection. It involves rubbing your nose against your loved nose back and forth. This type of kiss has its origin from the Eskimo, hence the name Eskimo kiss.
The French Kiss – The French is considered most popular romantic kiss. A kiss is named ‘French kiss’ when a person’s tongue touches another person’s tongue. This is why it is also known as tongue kissing. This type of kiss is very easy to execute but it may take years to master.
The Single-Lip Kiss – This type of kiss involves gently sucking another person’s lip. To give your partner a single-lip kiss, you have to take any one of their lips sandwiched between yours and suck gently. If done in the correct manner, this kiss can send a strong romantic signal to you partner.
The Hand Kiss – It is given by gently grasping someone’s hand by the fingers and kissing the back side. The hand kiss demonstrates respect, adoration and kindness.
The Earlobe Kiss – It involves taking someone’s earlobe between the lips and tugging gently upwards or downwards. This kiss can be made more intense by gently rubbing the tongue in a circular motion on the earlobe.
The Butterfly Kiss – This type of kiss involves getting close to someone so that your eyelashes touch. Just before kissing the lips, blink very fast so that eyelashes flatter very fast just like the butterfly wings. This type of kiss is usually done for fun.
The Upside-Down Kiss – This type of kiss originates from the Spiderman movie. it is a romantic kiss It is also known as the spiderman kiss. It involves kissing a person whose head is upside-down from yours. This way your bottom lip kisses their top lip and vice versa.

Lingering Lip Kiss – This is a closed mouth kiss that lasts for more than 20 seconds. The tongue is not involved in this kiss. Lingering lip kisses involve the lips only. This kiss serves as an indication of deep love.

The Cheek Kiss – This is a closed mouth kiss on someone’s cheeks. This kiss is often used as a greeting with a kiss on each cheek. It is a friendly sign of affection for anyone you know and love.
The Peck – The peck is a short tight lipped kiss on the lips or cheeks. It is used as an expression of friendship. A peck can also spark romance between two people. If you don’t get over it, just make him/her your lover.
The Lip-Gloss Kiss – This is a fun kiss. It involves putting on a harmless amount of ChapStick or lip gloss on the lips and then rubbing it on your partner’s lips until they are also coated. It is recommended that you use a lip gloss that is sweet and flavored to surprise your partner.
Secret Message Kiss – This is basically a French kiss with a ‘secret message’. It involves spelling out a message to your partner in the in the middle of a French kiss. This kiss is useful if you want to pass a romantic message to your partner.
The Lizard Kiss – This kiss involves sticking your tongue in and out of your partner’s mouth. It is done in quick strokes. The lizard kiss is usually practiced just for fun.
The Air Kiss – The air kiss is used as a form of greeting to friends and family. It is done by resting your cheeks on or near someone’s cheeks and then producing a kissing sound.
The Angel Kiss – This kiss involves kissing someone gently on the eyelids or on a spot near the eyes using the lips. This type of kiss indicates deep affection and is mostly used when saying goodbye to someone or when waking up a loved one.
The Biting Kiss – This is an open mouthed kiss that incorporates the tongue just like the French kiss. The only difference between this kiss and the French kiss is the fact that the teeth are also put into use. The teeth gently grab your partners tongue as you kiss.
The Neck Kiss – As the name suggests, neck kissing involves kissing someone’s neck. Most people love doing it after French kissing for a while. You have to learn to keep the saliva ‘light’ to execute this type of kiss perfectly. Use only your lips and do not suck hard to prevent you mouth from producing much saliva.
The Vampire Kiss – It is done for fun. This is a deep kiss on your partner’s neck. It also involves light biting and sucking. Some people might find this kiss not sexy, therefore it is important to find out whether your partner likes it or not.
The Jawline Kiss – It is done by people who are used to each other. You should never try this kiss on someone you just met. A jawline kiss is a firm kiss on the lower side of the jaw where the neck meets the jaw. It is usually fun to kiss someone’s jawline after having some intense French kissing.

The Teaser Kiss – This kiss begins from the forehead, to the lips and then down to the arms and hands. On reaching the hands, the sequence is reversed from the hands then up to the lips and forehead. This kiss can be quite useful if you want to turn on your partner and make them want more.

(Adapted from https://www.theguardian.com/society/2015/jul/19/history-of-kissing-lips-love; https://www.britishcouncil.org/voices-magazine/kiss-science-smooching; http://totescute.com/different-types-of-kisses/)

So there you have it. Hoping you learnt something too.

Peace, Love and wisdom to you.