We and Them

He follows without question. She leads the way gently, holds his hands and guides him gently through the crowd of bodies. It’s true she is the woman and he, the man but at that time they paint the mama and son picture. They complete their transaction or rather she completes the transaction for him, confirms the cash, then gently puts it in his hands. Of course, she whispers the denominations to him and he pushes the money into the breast pocket of his starched and well ironed ‘guinea’ top. Didn’t hear him say thank you or he did much later or ‘sotto voced’ it (my concoction). She had led him back the way they came; not showing any sign of stress. And it was no sauntering. It was a slow patient walk. One holding the hand of the other. No complaint on one side but no gratitude or feelings on the other too. They did not say much but they did show much: one needing it; the other giving it. You can guess that’s the way it’s been for them. Each playing fate assigned role with faith not minding the response of the other. He should at least show some appreciation; you want to chirp. Well it’s understandable; she should be able to tolerate that; but what happens if it pushes the limit and in place of appreciation is tossed an upbraiding?

The instance did surface; it came in a hush. They came back. This time, something went wrong. She could not do the transaction. Something was amiss. It was beyond her but she got blamed. ‘You did not provide the correct number!’ He sates ‘It’s your fault!’ he bellows now. A head got raised now; attention’s been grabbed. ‘So he really does have a voice’ thoughts speak. She just looks up to his face, takes the piece from him; presents to the checker again and implores that she double checks. ‘There’s nothing there’ she responds. Of course he heard but he still looks; now obviously unseeingly at his companion. ‘You didn’t give them the correct number, It’s been two months since’ She takes the stick and leads him firmly out, probably embarrassed but obviously phlegmatic and of course who is he not to follow. The roles resume. The giver leads the taker. She gives, he receives. Soaks it all up. They probably signed for life but we have heard of people giving up at the slightest inconvenience. But there they are: a lesson in profile; of companionship and keeping up.

What comes to our minds when our friends won’t just be friends to us? At the moments they would rather bottle it all up than share their concerns with us but would not mind venting their anger and frustrations on us. Do we clamp up too and go ‘what the heck!!!’ or do we tolerate and pursue patience and understanding? Or do we acknowledge their idiosyncrasies and try to hold on to the understanding we have of them in their lucid and selfsame moments when they are their real self - Those moments we were glad to introduce them as our friends. Let’s therefore push for more understanding of our friends. They may not always be their best or at their best with us; but then are the moments they need us most. Remember, there really are no coincidences and for every life we enter, we have a part to play.

Go be a forbearing and supporting friend today; it will help your peace of mind.